On Saturday, March 22, 2003, at 09:31 PM, Jordan L. Chilcott -
Dreamweaver Talk List Admin wrote:

> Why don't you just post the problem that you are having here? I'm sure
> there are many here that are itchin' to help (as usual). We just won't
> wear the UPS outfit. :-)

The truth is, and I know I said this last week, and got many kind
reassurances (thanks, kids!)--- that after all the questions and info
I've read, and books, and all the pestering I do here to you guys with
beginner questions again and again---and again---

it is just plain too embarrassing to be having these problems.

In real life I am a highly intelligent and purposeful person; I'm not
used to failing, and I'm not used to bad grades, and I'm certainly not
used to not being able to figure out anything in the world that I need
to figure out, given time. I'm in the 99.8th percentile (don't worry, I
am well aware that scores are meaningless)---and I can't handle C
F**-ing S S ?

As a teacher, I'm GREAT with children who have encountered nothing but
failure...that is my specialty, in fact. ALL my students find success
with me. I facilitate it and ensure that it occurs, even if it occupies
100% of my time, looking for answers and methods.

It takes 100% devotion, of course, but that's how I always work. I
don't do anything half-assed. I learned today that I may be
homeschooling another failure this summer---I hope so, and I CAN'T
WAIT!!!!! It completes me.

But when it comes to this website stuff--I don't know why, but it just
doesn't work for me. Can't be age, because I know there are lots of
others in their forties or older here.

I'm a cyber-idiot, and aside from knowing how to manage almost anything
needed for a Mac, prior to OS X, I have no tech skills. I was proud to
be the Mac-Helper for all my local acquaintances...X ended that, altho
none of them yet have X, so I'm still a mini-guru...

I'm great at promotion, online sales, managing quite a few e-lists, and
all kinds of other things. I even do those things for other people with
great sites but no clue as to how to promote.

But I'm the worst ever at learning this DW/CSS/code stuff. I've spent a
lot of MONEY on it! And yet---no progress...

And I HATE THAT.

That's my story...maybe I should mix up a few (no---make that a LOT!)
cocktails, make some popcorn, throw a movie into the DVD, with my email
open, and when I'm "loosened up"----just upload the damn thing and send
the URL to you guys...

But DAMN! I'm so ashamed!

Love ya all, best list in the world. Seriously. Seldom have I found
such a perfect mixture of rules, AND relaxed attitudes, OT ok to a
certain degree, lots of funny people (funny is my favorite thing, not
raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens), talent and brilliance in
abundance...and great people.

Really, really great people. I'll think over posting the damn thing.
It's a bigger mess than it was last week, with all the fiddling I've
been doing every hour on the hour...and it's JUST FOR TEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I can't even look at code view without having my eyes glaze over
and miss all kinds of things, so then I add or change something...and
the nightmare increases as I look at it in browsers.

Geeeeez. Screw it! I'm sick to death of trying. I should have hired a
designer who accepted small monthly payments, if such a thing exists.
OR better yet, traded for promo work.

BUT---here's the odd part---people LIKE my badly made site. It's me who
can't stand the mess. I just don't get it.

Paula
"This too shall pass."
Thank god the code police aren't actively pursuing miscreants such as
myself...here's hoping the angels aren't either...or I'll be in
purgatory like I am now for eternity...




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